While curled up in bed feeling ill (it’s kept me up all night, hence why I’m posting now), a tune came into my head: “Listen With Your Heart” from Pocahontas. I’ve not watched Pocahontas in forever, and, although I love soundtrack music, I’ve never been hugely bothered by Disney soundtrack (it’s too chirpy).
But I opened YouTube and listened to it twice through, and I could feel the hairs rising on my arms, and that pinching feeling in my nose when tears come to my eyes. I don’t know where it came from, but suddenly this song I’d never cared for was deeply affecting me.
As I was listening, I had some of the visions in my head that I often do- myself sprouting wings (still dragon/scaled ones), birds flying overhead and calling to me, and a new one. I don’t know whether it was just because it was Pocahontas, but I remembered a man who visited Kilmartin Museum (I think) and he had all these American Indian flute things with him. They might actually be when I decided I wanted to play flute… Anyways that doesn’t matter. I could feel myself playing one of those flutes as my wings grew, and I could feel the flute’s music circling me (it was a sort of turquoise/teal light). I think I need to travel.
I need to go away somewhere different. I am going home in a couple of weeks, but I need to go somewhere that feels different. I don’t know where. My head says forests and sandy shores, not typical beaches, but I just need to go and be alone at one. It’s all inside my head.