I spent most of this day in my room, as I’ve been feeling really poorly.
The last couple of hours, I started looking through old photos and videos of myself. At first it was fine, but then I could feel that I was going to disassociate, and I could sense it would be a bad one, as today I’ve just been feeling things a lot more intensely than normal.
So. I stopped looking through the pictures and stuck Lana Del Rey on, and took pen to paper. I knew I needed to do a self portrait. I know that doesn’t necessarily make sense, as looking at photos of myself normally triggers disassociation, but portraits are different. When I create artworks, I’m creating a different character. So it’s not actually me in this image. It’s a harder version, a little angrier, with a little more fire. That’s the feeling I get anyways.