Gorillaz

Gorillaz has been one of my favourite bands since I was fourteen. I’d always liked them, but about a month before my fifteenth birthday, I suddenly became really into them. That seems to be the way with me, one minute I don’t care about a band and the next they are the most important thing in my world.

First I got Demon Days, then borrowed my Dad’s copy of Plastic Beach, and later bought their self titled album. I was never a huge fan of The Fall, but I do have a couple of songs off of it.

My obsession with them was a huge. Over the course of a few months, I drew dozens of Gorillaz drawings, and literally listened to nothing but their music. I watched interviews, listened to the biography- my life revolved around it.

Gorillaz was the first band that I was really into (excluding Chumbawamba, which was on of the only things that stopped me crying when I was a baby). Before that, I’d never bought a full album, I’d only ever had 1 or 2 songs by each artist on my iPod. Like with many of the bands I’m into, I gradually forced my brother into loving them (he always starts out hating them, and after a few weeks he loves them too). When I came home from school I’d just sit for hours on end, meticulously copying screen grabs from the music videos.

I really was obsessed.

The mad obsession phase lasted about a year, and was followed by Kings of Leon in 2013 (don’t listen to them at all anymore), Cage the Elephant in 2013 (they’re my all time favourite band) and My Chemical Romance in 2014 (still love them). After that, my mad obsessions became less mad, and I started to appreciate music at a slightly healthier level. Except soundtrack, because I’ve always been bonkers for that.

So you can imagine my excitement this week, when Gorillaz released four new songs and announced a new album. I came very close to tears.

As you’ve probably picked up, I do have an anxiety disorder, and just general issues with my mental health. Although I’ve always been quite high anxiety, it only really kicked off properly in 2012, and in the five years following my mental health has really been through the mill. Gorillaz has always sort of carried me through. My love for them, one of the most powerful loves I’ve experienced, came from a time in my life where I was extremely happy and before things really went downhill. I don’t think I’ve been that happy since, except possibly summer 2015. But whenever I listen to them I get a sort of tingle of joy from my fifteen year old self. They help me to feel a bit more sane, and a bit more like I actually exist. The joy I had in that time and the love I had for Gorillaz was so powerful that I can feel the aftershocks still, and probably always will, and that is a sort of proof to me that I am real.

The likelihood now, with this new music, is I will probably regress to my fifteen year old self, except maybe slightly less obsessed. Gorillaz Phase round 2. I am hoping they do a tour, and if they do I will pay any amount of money to see them, because it is that important to me.

Erin

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